"Lord, What About Him?"

Lately I have been thinking about John 21:15-21. It is a very interesting passage. Let's set the scene.

Starting in vs 15 Jesus challenges Peter to grow and mature as a leader in Christ. He specifically gives Peter the challenge of caring for Jesus' followers. During this conversation, Jesus asks Peter twice "Peter, do you love (agapao) me?" Peter responds twice, "Yes, Lord, I love (phileo) you." The third time, Jesus changes the Greek word for love and asks "Peter, do you love (phileo) me?" to which Peter replies, "You know I love (phileo) you."

Oh, I could totally write for days about that conversation between Peter and our Lord. We could talk about Peter's insecurity in his relationship with Christ, as, three days earlier, Peter had denied even knowing Christ three times. We could talk about how gracious our Lord is to relieve Peter of his guilt by switching the Greek word for love to one in which Peter could agree with. Basically, in this conversation, Christ was at first using the more mature word for complete love. Agapao is used in John to refer to God's love (apagao) for us. It is unconditional love. It means to love dearly, to be well-pleased. Peter was responding to Jesus' question by using a word for love that implies a lesser intimacy- phileo. In essence, Peter was saying "Yes, Lord, I love you, affectionately and kindly, and I am fond of you." That is why it hurt when Jesus kept asking Peter "Do you agapao me?" Because, the truth was, no, Peter did not have that type of love for Christ. Not at that time.

Then Jesus forewarns Peter of the physical suffering that he would endure for the cause of Christianity. How would you feel if Jesus came to you, right now, and told you that you would be led down a path in which you did not want to go?

I'll be honest. I don't identify much with Peter's personality. I have friends who totally get him. I am learning more about his personality, little by little, and look forward to knowing him more. But I totally identify with his feeling in vs 20-21. I can completely put myself in his place as he turns towards John and says "What about him?" I can hear the roar of the waves, feel the breeze in my hair and the warmth of the fire as Peter stood next to Jesus and asked that question. I've been there with our Lord. I am so ashamed to admit that. But I feel compelled by the Spirit to confess that, for my benefit and the benefit of others.

I have been there, asking the Lord "Why do you call me to such a difficult task?" And "Lord, what about her? She doesn't have these difficulties. You don't expect these things from her. Yet, she and I have the same inheritance in You. Is that fair?" Oh, the shame I feel in my humanness as I write these thoughts right now.

"Lord, what about him?" Do you relate?

It seems that when I allow Satan to expose that trust issue that I have and play on it, God is faithful in immediately filling my mind with the riches and blessings that He has given me. I am so grateful for the shame that I feel as I think of dear friends of mine who live in Rwanda and are ministering to massive amounts of children in a culture that devalued human life and killed over 500,000 people in one month. I hear their stories of young girls who have to prostitute themselves to provide for their siblings that they are taking care of. Orphans raising orphans. And my heart hurts when I think of children who have been abused in any way. I have friends who were abused as children and I admire them as adults as they are still struggling to overcome such a haunting past.

It is not wrong for me, or for anyone, to ask "Lord, why?" No matter what the problem, it is not wrong to go to Jesus Christ and say "This is so difficult. It's too much for me." Because, we are right. It is too much for us. That is why we are not called to bear our burdens, any burden, no matter how great or small, alone.

May we not allow Satan to trick us and tempt us into not trusting Jesus Christ with our lives. Do not allow Satan to use any situation, and by that I mean every situation that occurs that causes us to look inward and say "Why me?", to cause us to have doubt in our Lord.

As I was struggling in my pity party of one two weeks ago, Keith used a passage of scripture in his lesson on Sunday morning that jumped out to me. I love scripture. I love how He speaks through it. Hebrews 12:7-13. Go there. I'll wait.

God is speaking of enduring hardships and trusting in Him. Within each hardship, there is something within us that God wants us to be made aware of so that we can share in His holiness. Whether He reveals that we need to know Him more so that we can trust Him more, or that we have become egocentric, which is a big problem in our culture, and need an eternity check, or maybe it is that we are broken and need to turn to someone for words filled with Godly counsel and healing. Whatever it is, the end result is the same. God wants us to share in His holiness. He wants us to find Him and know Him more fully in every situation in which we find ourselves. He wants to reveal His name, His nature and His love to us so that we KNOW Him. He wants us to be wholly holy healed.

The last part of this passage is so beautiful. Please don't overlook it. Take strength in Him. These hardships will not disable us. They are painful, sometimes gut-wrenching, but we will not be burned (Isaiah 43:1-2). We are not meant to be disabled, but healed.

May we always seek Him and find Him in whatever hardships we are enduring.

"Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed." Hebrews 12:12-13