Friday, April 8, 2016

The Day The Earth Kept Revolving

I love the shock value of the movie "The Day The Earth Stood Still." A movie about an event that was so life-altering that all normalcy on earth ceased to exist is a way cool movie. But it's just that, a movie. It's not real life. In real life, no matter the impact of the situation in our lives, the earth doesn't stop spinning. It keeps going. Life keeps moving ahead.

Yesterday was my oldest's daughter's birthday. It also marked the one year anniversary of my last day at work. One year ago at this time I was entering into a autoimmune flare that would last for months. For the past 3&1/2 years, there has been this little voice in the back of my mind, reminding me that one of my friends, who suffers from a similar condition, didn't realize that her last day at work was going to be just that, her last day at work. The phrase "I had no idea that I would not be returning to work that day" has stuck in my mind, and I dismissed it, thinking that my disease would never affect me in such a devastating way. But it did. On April 7, 2015, my legs were so red, swollen and painful that I could barely walk. Keith had to come pick me up from work because I could not drive. I remember trying to get everything in place before I left, thinking that while it may be a few months before I returned, I would return, and I wanted everything to run smoothly while I was gone.

But then, something really unexpected happened. My condition quickly worsened. What began as erythromelalgia, a condition that affected my extremities including both legs and one arm and is bad in and of itself, rapidly turned into a systemic autoimmune crisis that did not respond to medication. Shortly after April 7th, my speech and cognition were altered, I was no longer able to walk without assistance and I was in constant pain. I could not figure out what exactly had brought about this crisis, and I sure did not know how to stop it. Neither did any of my specialist. This flare was going to have to go away on its own, and no one knew how long it would take for it to resolve, and if there would be any long-term effects from it.

So why am I reliving the events of last year right now? One would think that I would want to forget that last year ever happened. But that's just the thing. Last year DID happen. Not just my illness, but life happened! The kids grew a year older. They finished school and started a new grade. Boo played basketball for the first time. My son is learning to drive a car. Lu is involved in every possible activity at her middle school. My mother graduated from college. My cousin's daughter got married. Our family went on a cruise and Keith wheeled me around everywhere so I would not miss anything. A few kind-hearted guys surprised us with a deck in our backyard. Our family made endearing friendships with some people who work at a local radio station. I know I am leaving some things out. So much happened in 2015.

So why am I writing this post? Is it just to mark the one year anniversary of a terrible event that occurred in my life? No. Where's the hope in that? I'm writing because I know there are so many people who have tragic events in their lives. I know so many who question why things have been allowed to happen to them. One of the difficult realities to face when you find yourself in the midst of a trying season in your life is that life goes on. The earth doesn't stop spinning because of what has happened to you. The sun will set at night and rise the next morning. Months will go by and the seasons will change. You may wish that all of the earth would stop for just one moment, but God in His sovereignty decreed that the earth keeps on going and doesn't stop for anyone or anything.

And therein lies our hope. Our situation does not define us. Difficult times will occur, but they will not stay forever. The earth will keep moving. Your situation is temporary and will pass. Does that lessen the degree of pain that you are feeling? No. But we have the assurance that nothing can separate us from the love of God, and there will be no crises in Heaven.

Your situation may have come totally out of the blue for you, but it was not an unexpected event for God. He has gone on before you, preparing the way. When you find yourself in the middle of a crisis, do not focus on the crisis. Focus on the God who rises about our circumstance, and who takes us with Him. Focus on what He is doing for you during your crisis. Do not be like Peter and focus on the scary tidal waves that are crashing about you. You'll start to sink, just as Peter did. But keep your eyes fixed on Jesus, as He is the only constant in your life. Don't miss what He is doing. He is on the front lines with you, fighting this battle for you. So that one day when you look back at the difficult time in your life, you will see Him so clearly and see what He was doing and has done for you. You will see that the world was not crumbling about you. No, God, with just the power of His word, held the world in place. At the end of the day, all that matters is that God is on His throne and Jesus is seated at God's right hand, and someday we will be with Them forever. Until then, the world will keep spinning. Each day, each hour, each minute and second is a blessing from God. Don't miss a minute of it!


Monday, October 5, 2015

Things That Make You Go..... Huh?

Hello again! Yes, it's been three years since I have blogged, but, have some grace. I've been a little distracted.

Truthfully the only reason I am writing this blog today is that I figured it was the best way to get a large amount of information out on the latest developments of what I call the "Hiccup of 2015." Basically, I have some test results for you.

Turns out that I am one in 750,000. My cousin's wife, Malinda, told me that she thought I was one in a million, but turns out I'm just one in 750,000. I have a genetic deficiency that showed up in my cerebral spinal fluid. It is called Tetrahydrobiopterin Deficiency, and is mostly associated with infants who have PKU. I do not have PKU, but, I also do not have tetrahydrobiopterin. My level was undetectable. From what I understand, tetrahydrobiopterin is a cofactor of amino acids in the brain that are essential to the biosynthesis of neurotransmitters. Without this cofactor, my brain cannot keep up with the demands of making these precious neurotransmitters, which, I think, is why I looked like a Parkinson's patient this summer. Here's some interesting tidbits that I have put together:

1) The treatment for Tetrahydrobiopterin deficiency is Kuvan or Leucovorin. Leucovorin is high dose folinic acid. It is also what Clay and Kylie take twice daily and has made the biggest improvement with their neurological health. So I am hopeful and a little curious to see if it will help me, too. Their genetic deficiency was inherited on my side (sorry kids) so it makes sense that I have some sort of it as well.

2) PKU infants and children who are not treated properly have four main deficits in their intellectual abilities. Interestingly, this spring and summer when I was at my worst, I exhibited severe deficits in those same four areas. In fact, my cognitive evaluation that I underwent in August confirms it.

3) Leucovorin costs $1400 a month, and our insurance doesn't cover it. Clay and Kylie receive it because they have secondary insurance that does cover it. I still haven't figured out how I am going to get it approved but I'm working on it.

4) Lastly, my new diagnosis of Tetrahydrobiopterin Deficiency doesn't answer all the questions that we have. It does answer a lot of the cognitive and motor skill questions, but it is not associated with Erythromelalgia, Levido Reticularis, or any of the other auto-immune concerns that I have. It doesn't answer why I continue to experience joint and muscle pain and fatigue. It does answer so many concerns, including that I probably do not have MS, ALS, Parkinson's or any of those other scary diagnoses that we were looking into.

I will be seeing my Rheumatologist this Wednesday, and I am interested in what he thinks of this little new development. My Neurologist contacted my Rheumatologist last week, and, because I am having symptoms again of Lupus, they decided that I should be on plaquenil again. This Wednesday I will find out if I will also start methotrexate along with the plaquenil. I have also restarted low dose oral steroids.

One thing I really wanted to say is thank you to all the people who have prayed for me and my family. This makes me really teary to think about. I know many people who I have never met, many churches where we have never attended, and Christians in countries where we have never visited have been praying for me. And not once in a blue moon. Like living in prayer and walking this walk WITH us. Just this past Sunday I spoke with a visitor from another congregation who told me how she and her church family have been praying for me. She knew all about my illness and my family. And I had never met her before. She has family who worship with us, and my dad and stepmother worship with her. And that's just one story of many.

God has really amazed me with the amount of love He has given to me through His people. I feel that He is using His people to show me how active He is in our lives, a concept that I knew before but am seeing in a different light now. I have had complete strangers encourage me in the Lord, and their encouragement to me is an exact answer to a doubt that I had voiced in prayer and told no one about. I have been blessed to meet and make friends with many who work with KLRC, the Christian radio station here in NWA. They have dedicated prayer time to me and my family. They email me and keep in contact with me, always asking how they can pray for us.I know that many of their listeners have heard our story on the radio, and have prayed for us. Complete strangers to me. But they are praying for me and my family. I know they are, because I am getting better again. And that is only because the power of prayer.

When I think about how He has worked in the lives of my children I drop immediately to my knees, just thanking Him over and over for how He has protected their hearts and built their faith through the events of the last three years.

It has been three years. Three years ago September 2012 was the first hospitalization. My symptoms started way months before that, dating back to Fall 2011. Oh my goodness I just can't believe that I have been dealing with this for half of Kylie's life.She was four years old when I was hospitalized. She'll be eight in December.

I know that I am not the only one in this world who has ever been through hard times. Give me a break, right? EVERYONE has a story. EVERYONE has plans, only to have them changed. Tragedies much greater than mine happen every day to people who were least expecting it. There are orphans and widows in many countries who are facing greater trails. And young Christians are being murdered for confessing Christ, both in other countries AND here in our own. My trials pale in comparison to theirs. But one thing I cling to, I have seen how God has gone on before me in my own life. I see Him as this strong provider who is not hindered or even flustered with my hiccup. He did not ignore an event that changed my whole life, as well as Keith's life and the kids' lives just because He did not have an answer or He did not know what to do. No, He showed up BIG time, strong and protective. I know that I am not extra special to Him; He loves each one of us the same. So if you are facing any trial and wonder where He is, I can assure you that He is there, active in the midst of your struggle, and that He has gone on before you, protecting you in ways you may not see.

Oh God, please give us eyes to see how you are working in this world, and hearts to follow you.

To the wonderful people that I know- thank you for all the encouragement, love, support and prayers that you have given to me and my family over the years. And to the ones that I haven't met- thank you for the love, support, encouragement and prayers. I can't wait to hug your neck in Heaven some day if we do not meet before then.

Grace, peace and much love.
Michele


Sunday, January 20, 2013

Kilmer's Christmas Card 2012

Well, here it is, January 20th, 2013, and, once again, the Kilmer Clan did not get it together to get a Christmas card out this year, unless you are a member at Robinson Avenue, then you did get a card with the help of our church "postal" service. So I wanted to give you some updates on our family via blog-land.

My Keithy passed a major milestone this past year. He turned 40!!! We celebrated with a quiet dinner for two, just like he wanted. No big parties, no big celebrations. You know Keith doesn't like to have a bunch of attention on him. Which is why I threw the biggest party of his life and invited every church member to celebrate with us! It was awesome. Many thanks to my sister and several of my buddies at Robinson who helped make that happen! He was a good sport about it and looks forward to his revenge this October.

Clay started middle school at Hellstern this fall. He is totally rockin' it! We are so proud of him and how well he has transitioned to middle school. He also attended Green Valley Bible Camp this past summer. He is already looking forward to going back this year! The other big change is his haircut- he is no longer letting mom pick out his haircuts, no, he is choosing the latest in teen hair fashion all on his own, whether I like it or not!

McKenzie is in 4th grade, and started the school year in crutches and ended the semester with an arm cast. Seriously! She fell off a skateboard in August, breaking her toe, then tripped at recess in December, breaking her arm. She is all into Harry Potter anything and everything. In between bone breaking she takes gymnastic lessons and will start guitar lessons this winter.

Kylie Grace turned 5 and is doing very well. She has been on prophylactic antibiotic therapy for one year now and this has kept her much healthier overall. She just started gymnastics which is a great fit for her. She still has more energy in her than all of us combined, and Keith and I are grateful that Clay and Kenzie are such great siblings and help us out a lot!

Eve the puppy has a new playmate. Percy the kitten came to live with us this fall. He is a great mouser, which is why he was adopted into our home. But he is the sweetest little kitten and loves to cuddle with me and Kenzie. He allows Kylie to carry him around like a baby. But he is really cute with Eve. They run and play and you can tell that both of them are loving each other's company. We also got a Betta fish named Melody, and Percy sits by her tank every night, just staring. I love our Kilmer Zoo!

As for me, my migraines are still hanging around, but God continues to use this very annoying situation to show me different facets of His nature. I am humbled at the outpouring of His love that He continues to show me by giving me such wonderful friends. I have had the opportunity to get to know some lovely people better just because we share the same health concerns. I continually thank God for the gift He has given me in my co-workers. They are a true blessing. Our church family is another blessing, and I thank God daily for the sisterhood that He has given me here. So, while, yes, I am major annoyed that I have "symptoms without a clear explanation", I am learning many lessons that, hopefully, I will allow God to use in my life to only draw me closer to Him.

Finally, to close the update, I have to mention that, in 2012, we FINALLY took the Disney vacation that we had been planning to take for years. It was SO MUCH FUN! A little difficult for me at first, because I have to say, I had expected the trip to be like it was 6 years ago, with McKenzie wide-eyed and so much in love with the princesses and Clay daring to ride anything he was tall enough to ride. I figured nothing had changed except Kylie would be with us, and she would be just as happy to meet the princesses as Kenzie was. Well, for starters, Kenzie is no longer 3 years old. The only character she wanted to stand in line to meet was Gaston, and all she wanted to do was SHOP. Clay met a girl, exchanged email addresses and they still are emailing each other daily. Kylie rode everything she could, not once, not twice, but as many times as we would let her. She was very shy during the character meetings, which surprised me a little. But the most fun awakening I had was realizing that we are finally at a stage when all five of us can ride the rides together and no one needs a nap, except maybe me and Keith. We had a blast and I cannot thank Lana Moore enough for helping us plan the trip. She is a friend of mine from Harding and works for Disney Travel, so if you are going any time soon, email me and I'll give you her number. She's awesome!

I hope you all are in good health and that God's blessings are apparent in your lives. May we all know Him more fully in 2013.

Grace and peace,
M


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

If I Only Had A Brain

I love the Wizard of Oz. By far, my favorite character is the Scarecrow. I have always loved him. Maybe because we share a similar build and klutziness. He is so lanky, so happy, so ready to help. You just gotta love the Scarecrow.

But he is brainless. Even though it is apparent to everyone watching the movie that the Scarecrow really has the most smarts of anyone, he thinks he needs help in that area. Why can he not see himself the way he truly is? If he could, then he would realize that he always had a brain to begin with!

Four weeks ago, almost to this very minute, I was scaring my poor wonderful colleagues to death. They thought I was having a stroke. I thought I was having a stroke. And all I could think about was that I did not have time to have a stroke, because the Women's PowerWALK Wednesday Fall 2012 Kick-Off was that night, and there was NO way I was going to miss it. Not even for a stroke.

Brainless. 

It seems so silly now, four weeks later. Not the illness, because this has been a difficult four weeks, and I am still recovering from it. My family has been put through the ringer, and I would not wish that upon any family. No, what hits me when I think of that moment, is that, truly, in that moment, when one may be thinking how their life would change post-stroke, I was thinking that I would not miss the fall kick-off. 

Nice wake-up call, Lord.

My health situation is getting better every day. There are still a few more tests to run and evaluations to occur, but most likely I have complex migraine disorder and am just waiting for the medicine to kick in. I will meet with a neurologist who specializes in demyelination diseases in two months and he will follow-up with the changes that were noticed on my MRI. I will also meet with a rheumatologist for autoimmune concerns. I did not have a stroke, and I do not have MS. My outlook is great.

Except for one big thing. I have to make a major life change. Again. Really, Lord? It seems that You call on me to make some change like.... yearly. Will I ever not be changing? Don't answer that.

Like my friend the Scarecrow, I suffer from not using my brain. Oh, I use it, don't get me wrong. I overuse it.  I just don't use it wisely. I actually had a friend of mine tell me to "Shush my brain." I suffer from Unrealistic Expectations and Over-Achievement Syndrome and am an Affirmation Addict. The thing is, I don't know any other way to be. You need a Pediatric Nurse Practitioner? I'll be the best one around. A Preacher's Wife? I'll have a smile for you. The Mother of Kids On The Spectrum Who Also Have Food Allergies? Don't worry, my children, mommy will make sure that not only do you have a cupcake available at your class party, but that it will be the best looking and tasting cupcake in the room so that all of your gluten-filled friends will look at you in envy and you will not feel left-out or freakish in any way. The list goes on and on, unfortunately. 

What God has shown me more in the past four weeks is that I am going to have to make some major life changes in how I approach my life. In some ways, that will be much harder than dealing with an illness. I mean, seriously, I am a PNP and mother to two special needs kids. I can handle illness. But, allowing God to change who I am and how I respond to life? That's a much harder pill to swallow. 

I am going to have to learn to "Be still and know" and not "be active and go". I am going to have to rely on others more. That will be a hard one. I am going to have to go to God with my insecurities on how I am spending my time and not seek affirmation from others. I am going to have to let my kids feel the pain of failing. I am going to have to listen to my body. What happened four weeks ago was not a fluke. You see, I have been having some combination of severe headaches, double vision, right-sided weakness and numbness for months. MONTHS. I just chose to ignore the symptoms because I thought I did not have the time to deal with them. And I bought flat shoes so that if I fell, I would not fall far. Seriously. I did that. Instead of thinking, maybe I should slow down and check out why I am having these symptoms, I bought some shoes to be a band-aid that would cover my boo-boo. 

Totally brainless.

We all have those experiences in life when something totally unexpected happens that turns your life upside-down. Unfortunately there does not seem to be a limit on how many times this can happen to one person or family. Nor does there seem to be some kind of time restraint, as in, only this amount of turmoil can occur to this person/family during this allotted time. We have the reassurance that God is not going to give us more than we can handle. That He was fully aware of the impending situation and is with us during that time, and has moved on before us, guiding us through it, preparing the way for His glory to be revealed to us and through us. And we think of Job. I say that as a joke, but I am being a little serious here. Job's life comes to mind as we struggle through our whirlwind, trying to make sense of it all.

In the past four weeks I have spoken with many friends who are currently struggling with some life-altering changes. Some of these changes are occurring in their lives and some are taking place in the lives of their loved ones. These are not small changes. Some of my friends have lost loved ones this month. Some are facing major health concerns. Some have lost jobs and do not have any prospects in sight. Some are divorcing the ones they thought they would spend the rest of their lives with. Situations that drive you to your knees before our Lord and ask for help. 

What I would say to them now is to Be Still and Know. That you are dearly loved by God. Your life situation may have totally shocked you, or, maybe you are like me, and chose to ignore the warning signs. Either way, God has already gone before you in this situation. He has a plan. This doesn't mean that you won't be making some major life changes, just like I am being called to do. It doesn't mean that the end results of these situations won't be life-altering or difficult. But remember that the same hands that made the stars are holding you in this time. That the same power that raised Jesus from the dead is at work in your life. That Satan would love to confuse your mind to think that God would not allow such things to happen to you if He loved you. But we know the truth: that these trials that come will only draw us closer to Him if we are honest with Him and ourselves. 

Hold close to this promise found in Micah 7:8 "Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light."

Monday, June 11, 2012

The World Did Not Come To An End

Well, it has been one year and one month now since our family began eliminating gluten and dairy from our diet.

It seems like such a daunting task at first. I mean, just the very mention of being gluten or dairy free brings about a negative response, such as "I'd die first." Yes, someone actually said that to me. And I use to feel that way about our lifestyle.

However, last Spring, under the advice of some really smart medical providers, we went GFCF, and do you know what happened?

The earth kept spinning and the sun kept rising every morning. The world did not come to an end.

It was overwhelming at first. It still is sometimes. The hardest part of being GFCF is that it makes you have to plan ahead for meals and snacks. No more fast options for hungry kids. No more McDonald's (even though Chick-Fil-A has become my best friend!). No more opening a package for a snack. Now, when one of the Kilmer kids whines "I'm hungry" my response is "Go eat some fruit." I know that may sound like a healthy solution, but the problem is that the kids get hungry more often and we are all still having a hard time believing that we don't need a bunch of starch-filled artificially-flavored preservative-packed food in our systems. GFCF snacks tend to be lower in carbs, meaning the kids are hungry more often.

I have to actually plan for meals and snacks. Sometimes I get on a roll with it and I am so proud of myself. I will spend hours in the kitchen preparing fruit and GFCF protein snacks for the entire week. Then my proud moment fades quickly as the Kilmer kids ransack the entire stock of GFCF goodies within one day, leaving me to scrounge around for more snacks.

They are growing kids, after all.

But that is the thing. They are growing. They are taking less medicine than they were before. Clay and Kylie's skin looks much better. Kylie has no more eczema at all. Kenzie and Kylie do not complain as much about abdominal pain. Kenzie is actually much more active and participated in track this year.

And I have gotten pretty good at making some yummy GFCF snacks. I have pinned a lot of recipes on my pinterest board. I know that I should be writing them down here in blog-land, but, let's face it, that's just not happening. But I actually enjoy cooking GFCF meals now. I'll be honest, it is much harder to be dairy free than gluten free, but I lately I have found some amazing vegan cookbooks that have really helped me out a lot in that area.

So, what piece of advice could I share with anyone who is contemplating going GF or dairy free, or both?

I would want you to know that you can do it. You will not die :) Take it slowly, get some help from emeals.com, and read some great blogs. Enjoy the sunrise the next morning. The world will not stop spinning, I promise!


Monday, April 30, 2012

The Branches On My Family Tree

This past week I had a ton of family members in my home. For starters, my mother is living with us now for one more month until her house is move-in ready. My aunt Alice and my uncle Ricky have been here helping her paint and get her house in shape. They were here at the beginning of the week, and then, on Thursday, my in-laws came to visit us for the weekend. We were so excited to have a houseful of loved ones!

I started to become very sentimental this past week. Those feelings actually hit me when I went to see Beth Moore on April 15th. You see, during her conference she gave us the opportunity to sponsor a child through Compassion International. I told my friends that were with me that one of my cousins has been working with Compassion for years. Spence is my second cousin by marriage- so we are not blood related at all, but in the Alexander home, if you are a part of the family in any way, then you are family, so Spence is my cousin. And I am proud of him! Please check out Compassion International and prayerfully consider sponsoring one of these precious children.

A few days later I got an email from one of my uncles who is a minister in Dallas. He shared how God was at work in his life, and it was just inspiring. I shared his story with a friend of mine who went to Beth Moore with me, and she said something like "Your family is so cool!"

And that got me to thinking. I am one blessed chica because of the family that I was born into and married.

I think about my grandmother who lived with me all of my junior and high school years. How she honored the Lord, even when as she was dying in the hospital, there she was living God's Word and being an encouragement to everyone. She wanted better for her children and grandchildren than she ever had. She raised them when she herself was just a baby and instilled a love within them for God, Jesus, the church and the Word.

On my mom's side I have two uncles who are ministers, one who is an elder, many cousins who are deacons or minsters and several who are leaders in their churches. Many aunts have challenged me in the Lord and I have had the opportunity to sit at their feet and learn from their example and wisdom. Some of my cousins have adopted children and are raising them in the Lord. Some proclaim Him with their lives and are great examples to me. Some of my family have been missionaries on the field for years. And all of them can SING! I remember really well our family reunions in which we sang praises together. It was beautiful. To this day, I long for those times together with my family. My grandmother's funeral was full of song- way to go Tim on some awesome song-leading ability- and I know that she was so proud of her family.

My mother and I have great theological discussions over coffee. She is a natural seeker of the Word. She has my grandmother's zeal to inspire others in the Lord. Only my mother takes this challenge to men and women who are not in our family. She is an inspiration for many in our church, and I get tickled about how many of my friends have been invited over for coffee talk with my mom. And every morning she prays with my four-year-old daughter as they eat breakfast together. Seriously, my mother WALKS it!

I think about my sister. She and I are so similar, but have completely different spiritual gifts. My sister is a giver and full of mercy, two of my lowest gifts. Lynn feels others emotions. Her heart guides her decisions. She reminds me so much of the apostle John- she understands the emotions that Jesus felt. She looks at His life in such a different way than I do, and I have learned so much from her. Her heart is big enough to embrace every believer out there, and watching her serve in mercy has really been inspiring to me. Likewise her husband Scott, a natural administrator in the Lord, is fascinating to watch. He brings a spirit of calmness and organization. He cares deeply for people. He studies the Word. And he is a wonderful father and husband.

My father is a natural teacher. He can tell a great story. He can captivate an audience. And he has a great memory. He is creative and logical at the same time. And he loves the church. He has a heart for seeking groups of people that can typically fall through the cracks at church. And he is a servant. When the tornadoes devastated Joplin, MO, my dad was there within one week. And he made multiple trips back to help rebuild that town and restore their hope. Sherron, my step-mother, exemplifies Jesus' love for the little children. She is retired, and is the head of the Children's Ministry at her church. That is one of the most thankless, high maintenance and life-zapping ministries in the church (in my opinion) and she does it with grace and love. She truly models "Let the children come to me".

Then I have the Kilmer family. Dean, my father-in-law, is full of energy.He runs up to the pulpit every Sunday morning before he preaches! He makes every member of his congregation feel important, because each one of them is important to him. He works endless hours and is always available to help whoever is in need. There are not many visits that we have with him when his phone does not ring, usually daily, and off he goes, even when he is taking time off from work. He is on-call 24/7. He has a desire for all to know Christ, and a God-given drive to get the gospel out to the world, what ever it takes. He is involved in mentoring classes with the juvenile courts in his county, he teaches endless Bible classes and individual studies, he has written seminars and has published one book. He is part of a foundation that recognizes and awards teenagers for their accomplishments in making good moral choices. He'll do whatever it takes for others to know Christ.

My mother-in-law is the gentle-spirited matriarch of the family. She loves her family and prays for them daily. She is always there for a gentle hug and kind word. She encourages all of us to think outside the box and to live up to the calling that we all have. If I can think of one word to describe her, it would be "care". She naturally cares for others in a way that most of us have to work at. Kelly, my sister-in-law, is the same way. Loves her family, thinks of others, remembers their birthdays, something that I am horrible at! She thinks of how others will feel in certain situations and tries her best to set people up for success. My brother-in-law, Jonathan, is patient and kind-hearted and is a wonderful father. He is also a big dreamer and a very gifted guy!

Both of Keith's grandfathers were elders in the church. Donald was one of the most pleasant, adorable, Godly men I have ever met and I loved him the very first time I met him. Bud was a feisty, spirited man who I had a lot in common with (I can be a little feisty!) He could play a mean game of cards! He was absolutely precious. Virginia, Bud's wife, was such a great example of a wife who adored her man and her children. I remember our conversations really well, and hold dear all of the advice that she gave to me. Then there's Mona, Keith's one remaining grandparent, who is so precious to me that I cannot put it into words. She and I got to spend nearly every Monday night together for about one year, and I miss those back-porch talks that we had. She writes prayers in a journal, and we read them together. I shared with her whatever I was reading at that time, and she was always so interested in it. We discussed everything under the sun and in Heaven, and I adore her to this day.

Keith has one uncle who is a minister in the church. His wife is a dear servant of Christ and a natural encourager. He has two cousins who work for Christian universities. His other cousin is God's hands on this earth as she serves others with her nursing abilities and powerful character. Keith's precious aunt Kay Ann and uncle Jeff are great examples of a couple who serve their church together. His uncle Don is another gifted administrator and I appreciate so much how dearly he respects and loves those who were with him as he was growing up. He has not forgotten his roots! I love Keith's family as if there were my own.

Which leads me to talk about my man. I consider myself one of the luckiest women on earth to be married to Keith Kilmer. He is a rock to me. God made us for each other. As a preacher, I admire his desire to reach out and spread the Word. He is approachable to all members and guest of our church, similar to the model exemplified by our Lord during His walk on this earth. He communicates truth well. He is not agenda driven, but He is driven by the Holy Spirit. The fruit of his labor is evident in the churches he serves- God uses Keith to create an atmosphere that unites members of His body. And Keith does it willingly, even when it's hard. As a father, no three kids could ask for more. Having two special needs kids can be exhausting, and Keith has embraced every crazy thing that has been asked of us as we care for these precious children that belong to God. As for a husband- I don't have enough room on this blog to write about how much he means to me. And he wouldn't want me to embarrass him, but I will say that I am blessed because God Himself design a man just for me that would give me such a joyful life here on earth and walk with me hand in hand as we journey this world to our real home. I love him.

Now for my little branches- let's start with Clay. Clay and I have similar spiritual gifts so we get each other really well. But I have to say that God has blown my mind away with this little Aspie boy. For starters, Clay has a deep desire to share Christ with anyone and everyone, not just to "share information" with them, but to share joy with them. He is autistic here on earth, but gravy, he is a mighty soldier already in the heavens. He invited more people to Friends and Family day than I did, I hate to admit. He has shared his faith with people who confess other world religions and even atheism. He has bought books that explain other world views to help him understand how non-Christians think and feel. And he is just eleven years old. God made him just the way that he is, and God has a special plan for him.

McKenzie should have been born to my sister because they are the same two people. They share the same spiritual gifts- giver and mercy. As I said earlier, I am low on those gifts. So as I am trying to "raise up a child in the way she is bent" I have found that I have had to stretch my understanding of how to serve the Lord. McKenzie is a natural blessing to all who are around her. She is tender-hearted and, just like my sister, remains calm in a crisis and takes care of others. I love watching her study God's Word with me- she takes out high-lighters and pens and makes notes and underlines anything that will enhance her study. Just like Keith. She is thoughtful and kind, and is a precious soul.

Finally, Kylie. Oh Kylie. If you know Kylie, then you get it. She reminds me of the verse "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" except right now she is stuck on "I can do all things". She has my grandmother, mother and father-in-law's energy. She is so adventurous. Whoever she marries better be ready to go on some mission trips, because I guarantee you, she will be "jumping off the cliffs in Asia" (shout out to my Chile teammates!) I don't know exactly how God has designed her yet, but knowing the tree from which she sprouted, I know that I will enjoy watching her grow in God.

I am thankful to God for all of my blessings that He has graciously given me, but today, I am thankful for the blessing of my family.


Friday, March 16, 2012

That's My Boy!

Clay had this story to tell me when I picked him up from school on Tuesday. It is one of the highlights of my life. I have enjoyed sharing this story to every one who has ears. So I hope you enjoy it and appreciate life with an Aspie as much as we do!

Here's the conversation:
Clay: "Mom, I forgot to take my lunch to school today, so I had to have gluten and caseine."
Me: "That's OK, son. A boy's gotta eat."
Clay: "Yes, but I had a cheeseburger and an ice cream sandwich, because, well, you know, I figured if I was going to cheat, then I might as well cheat big time!"
Me: "I would have done the same."
Clay:" And Mom, while I was eating, I noticed this girl who was sitting by herself. Her head was in her hands. She was obviously upset. So I got up, and I went over to her, and I leaned forward, and I said very gently and very softly.....'Are you going to eat your ice cream sandwich?"
Girl: "No."
Clay:"Well, then, can I have it?"
Girl: "Fine."
Clay: "Is something wrong? You look upset."
Girl: "I'm FINE!"
Clay: "Ok, then! Thanks for the sandwich!"

I have laughed nonstop this week over that story. I am so glad that he very gently and very softly leaned forward to ask the upset girl if he could eat her food. What great manners this little man has!

That's my son!